A Parenting Tip - Create A Sane Holiday Season Now

Could you benefit from a useful parenting tip with practical
applications? Most parents can. As a mother and a business owner
who has worked with hundreds of moms over the past few years, I
often hear the same thing.

"This year, it will be different," these overwhelmed moms sigh
as the holiday season draws near. "I won't let my family do so
many activities. It won't be such a blur! We're going to have a
sane holiday this year."

Starting to sound like a New Year's Resolution, isn't it? Great
idea...if only you could pull it off.

Well, this year you can.

I have been parenting for over 26 years. As a mom, I know how
crazy the end of the year has become for our whole culture. Not
only is there an abundance of activities for adults, but our
children have been pulled into the madness as well, with nearly
unlimited opportunities of their own. To top it off, most of
these activities are good, even excellent.

Feeling a little overwhelmed just thinking about it? Me, too.

So here's a parenting tip with long term consequences: let's
get on top of this situation now, while the season is still in
front of us and we actually have time to plan. Pull out a
calendar and ask yourself how you really want your holiday
season to be this year.

For example...

-- do you enjoy having an activity every evening?

-- do you enjoy activities away from home or at home? Or a mix?

-- do you want your kids to primarily do activities with their
friends or with their family? (I really hope you're choosing
family!)

-- what traditions are most important to you? Baking cookies?
Sending cards? Caroling? Helping in your community? Serving in
your house of worship?

-- do your children even understand *why* this time of year is
so precious? Do they understand the religious and historical
backgrounds of the holidays you celebrate?

So what's the bottom line here? Stop trying to do everything
and concentrate on one or two activities that are truly
meaningful to your family. YOU decide the important messages you
want to impress upon your children this holiday season. You can
choose from the long-established traditions to teach those
messages or create brand new traditions that your family will
love embracing.

Making family memories is what will stay with your family, year
after year. It's what your children will take with them into
adulthood. It is what they will form their own family traditions
on.

They won't remember all the hectic activities. But they will
remember things like this: that every year, on the weekend after
Thanksgiving, we get the Christmas decorations out of storage,
snuggle up with hot chocolate, and fondly reminisce over the
history of each ornament. It's the story of our family,
remembered and added to each year.

That's one of my children's favorite holiday traditions. Pretty
simple, huh? But my grown sons speak fondly of this tradition so
I know it has been important to them. And I continue it now with
my daughters.

Do you see what else is going on here? Besides the warm
fuzzies, I am now much more aware of the powerful influence I
have as my children's parent. And it makes it easier for me to
*intentionally* use making memories to teach them what I believe
is most important for them to know.

So what is my most excellent parenting tip for you this holiday
season? Stop going with the flow. Instead think, plan and create
your family's holiday memories this season. Be intentional with
your family's limited time (and energy), and encourage peace,
laughter and thoughtfulness during this blessed and holy time of
the year.

About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com. Visit
http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-tip.html to get the
parenting tip you need today.

Quality Parenting

When you raise a child, you are creating the future. Not just
his or her future, but everyone's future. The results of your
parenting will ripple and spread through the years, affecting
thousands, and eventually millions of people. If you want the
future to be better than the present, then you had better learn
the principles of quality and how they apply to being a parent,
for that is all that quality is: making things better.

No matter how good or not-so-good parent you are or think you
are, you can be better. There are no upper limits on quality in
parenting. The first, necessary, and most important step is to
WANT to be a better parent. You have to choose, every day,
whether you want to be a worse parent, stay the same, or be a
better parent. There are no other choices. Being a better parent
doesn't "just happen." If you don't choose to be a better
parent, you are effectively choosing one of the other two
options.

This also happens to be the first major principle of quality:
Quality is an Attitude. Quality is wanting things to be better.
It is aligning your sights in the direction of improvement.

The next most important step to improving your quality as a
parent is to give yourself some credit. You deserve a lot of
credit, probably more than you get. The very fact that you are
willing to raise a child, to take that responsibility, in an
uncertain world and against all odds, gives you high status. If
you are part of a couple, you share that status, and had better
acknowledge it in each other, at least.

Because opinions vary so widely about how to raise children,
and because many people are taught that criticizing people is a
way to help them (which it isn't), you may sometimes be
criticized for how you are raising your children. This is when
that credit you just gave yourself is important. You are doing
something difficult, bravely. You are trying to get better at
it. Others may try to sway you toward their way of thinking. But
as long as you keep that Quality Attitude, and know you are
working toward improvement, you can let their words roll off.
Welcome to the second principle of quality: Quality Leads to
Opposition.

The third major principle of quality, in parenting and
everything else, is that Quality Takes Time. Small changes add
up to big improvements, but not usually in huge dramatic leaps.
Every time you take one small action, say one small word, that
will help your child grow up happy and strong and ethical, and
so make the future better, you have moved one step further up
the path of quality parenting.

So what are these small actions and words? You have to decide
that, as well. The tests are simple.

First, ask yourself what attitudes you don't like in other
people, and teach the opposite attitudes to your child. Treat
him or her with the attitudes you want him or her to learn. For
example, if you don't like people who interrupt you, then listen
to your child, from infancy onward, without interrupting. If you
don't like people to hit you or shout at you ... well, you get
the idea.

Second, and this is a bit harder, ask yourself what attitudes
or behaviors you are not fond of in yourself, and try not to
pass them on to your child. If you are not as neat and tidy as
you wish you were, for instance, make an effort to demonstrate
being neat to your child.

Quality parenting is not about being perfect. It is about
moving in that direction, trying to improve. In the example
above, you might still not be as tidy as you wish. But if you
can make something neat that you normally wouldn't, where your
child can see, that is improvement. That is increasing your
quality as a parent. Every small step you make in that direction
is valuable. They add up, and build on each other.

As you learn more about the principles of quality, and the
basic quality actions, you will find more and more ways to apply
them to parenting. The above three major principles are just the
beginning. For now, remember the motto: Improving quality
creates a better future, for everyone.

About The Author: Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality
and its principles and applications. Finally he has put his
hard-found knowledge into a readable, usable book: Anyone Can
Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. You can find
out more about the book at http://www.principles-of-quality.com

Parenting Child With ADHD

Lets be totally, brutally honest: raising a child with ADHD can
be very draining and place a heavy strain on your emotions.m
Many people keep asking on how to parent an ADHD child.
Frustration and impatience can slowly develop for parent of
child with ADHD, and stress just seems to well up inside of you,
and the best and most effective way on parenting children with
ADHD is a near impossible question to answer.

It is the bond that exists between parent and child that is
crucial, making all the difference, if the parent and child have
mutual trust and are able to competently communicate, then this
makes raising an adhd child much easier.

PARENTING SKILLS FOR CHILDREN WITH ADHD - how to parent a child
with ADHD :

1. Patience is crucial

One of the fundamental requirements you need in parenting
skills for adhd odd children and survive with a child with ADHD
is patience. Remember, even when the child is at their most
infuriating, at a stage of development where they are ready to
drive you to madness, remember it is not their fault they do not
choose to be the way they are. When you feel exasperated try and
imagine just how exasperated the child must feel in their
struggle to learn.

Be a friend and let your child trust in you:

Let your child feel they can trust in you, that they can
confide in you with their secrets, their fears, worries and
concerns as well as the triumphs they have. Don't trivialize or
patronize the child, and make sure to treat them with dignity
and respect at all times, and actually listen. Don't let your
child think that they have to bottle their emotions up.

2. Engage with your child, and spend time with them:

Try and spend as much quality time as you can with your child,
and do not listen passively to what they say, or with a bored
disinterest. Make a fuss of your child and be physically
affectionate, ask them how are they enjoying school, what games
did they play. This makes the child feel valued and loved, and
all it takes is some patience and time.

3. Be aware of erratic sleeping patterns, and be patient

Children who suffer from ADHD have disturbed and erratic
sleeping patterns, either suffering from bouts of insomnia,
excessive sleeping or an unhappy mixture of the two. Sometimes
they will suffer from bad nightmares and broken sleep, so make
sure that if they have a bad night you are close at hand for
security and reassurance.

4. Engage with the child with ADHD in all activities

It may sound like a nightmare to the parents, but a child with
ADHD cant help but want their parents as close by as possible,
regardless of what activity they are currently engaged in. Make
sure therefore to be especially attentive and affectionate to
such a child, and engage with them, whether it is watching the
TV with them or playing a game.

About The Author: Learn the tips and techniques in disciplining
adhd child and prevent depression in child with adhd when you
visit http://www.adhdchildparenting.com, a portal which caters
for child living with adhd and help for adhd child.

Parenting Teenagers -- Who Does Your Teen Trust?

Mom or Dad, this is an easy question. You want him to trust
you! YOU want to be the person of influence in your teen's life.
You want your teen to listen to you! You want her to respect
you. You want him to come to you when he needs advice.

Parenting teenagers effectively requires learning some
fundamental skills. These skills are not difficult and you
probably already know them. However, skip over them or refuse to
apply them appropriately and you may find your teen wants
nothing to do with you.

1. Listening.

If you want your teenager to listen to you, you must first
listen to him. That's old news, right? You already know all
about that, don't you? But are you doing it?

If you are serious about encouraging your teenager to listen to
you, then try this little exercise. Keep a log of exactly how
many minutes each day you *intentionally* and *intensely* listen
to your teen. No newspapers or cell phones between you. You must
be looking her in the eyes and you must be reflecting her words
back to her in order to make sure you understand what she's
saying as precisely as possible.

Do you do this just ten minutes a day? You can do anything for
ten minutes a day, right? Give it a try for a solid thirty days.

Do you find this difficult? Look at it this way. If you won't
listen in this way to your teen, why in the world should he
*really* listen to you?

2. Respect.

Respect is an earned quality and nowhere is this truer than
when parenting teenagers. Teens are very good at knowing when
someone is truly on their side or when they are being merely
accommodated.

If you want them to respect your time, then respect theirs. If
you want your teen to respect your conversations, then respect
theirs. Teach them the 'how' of respectful behavior by extending
it to them, and then tell them you expect it back from them.

Here's a strong hint: if you are working hard on your listening
skills and giving your teen your absolute, undivided attention
each and every day, you are moving up on her respect meter.
Fast.

3. Person of influence.

Every parent of a teenager wants to be the go-to person for
their teen. And rightfully so. Don't make the mistake of trying
to be your teen's best friend, however. That's not your job at
this critical part of their life.

They need you to be a lot more than their friend. They need you
to be their *parent* and no one else can take over that role, so
really throw yourself into the part!

When parenting teenagers, you need to be a leader in your
family. Don't know how to do that? Look at your own life and ask
yourself if *you* are interested in following *you*. Your
answers will tell you a lot about how your teen looks at you and
what you need to do to be the person your young teenager knows
he can trust with the cares and concerns of his life.

Here's another parenting hint: focusing on listening and
respect will get you headed in the right direction quickly.
Every one of us who are parenting teenagers need to be skilled
at those qualities.

When it comes to parenting teenagers, there are no magic
formulas that bring guaranteed success. But there are some
simple strategies that have been proven to work time after time.
To be the person your teenager comes to when he needs something,
lay a strong foundation of respect and careful listening.

It won't be long until you're hearing a lot more than whom he
thinks will win the game this weekend.

About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com. Learn more today about parenting
teenagers at
http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-teenager.html .

Helping Parents Understand What Online Tutoring Is All About

One of the biggest challenges to running a successful online
tutoring business is getting parents to understand exactly what
online tutoring is and how it will work for their child. Never
assume that the parents that you will be dealing with are as
tech savvy as the children you will be tutoring. Often times
they have no idea what to expect, let alone believe that you
will truly be able to help their child through cyberspace. They
may also hold the misconception that they will have to purchase
expensive software or gadgets to make their computer work with
yours.

It is your responsibility to make parents completely understand
what online tutoring is, how it is accomplished, and exactly how
you will use this technology to help their child be more
successful in school.

The best way to make parents understand how online tutoring
works is to show them. I created a demonstration that is now
available online at http://www.tutorfi.com/highspeeddemo.asf I
highly recommend directing a parent to this link and encouraging
them to watch it and see how it works for themselves. Make sure
you are available after they have watched it to discuss their
responses and remaining questions with you.

There may be instances in which a parent is on the phone with
you, possibly during the initial conversation, and it is
inconvenient to get online together at that time. In these cases
it is up to you to make the parent understand everything while
still on the phone. I have been in this situation countless
times and found that I always came across the same
misconceptions and questions from parents. I have summarized the
areas that I consistently addressed in the five areas discussed
below.

1. Explain that the only requirements are internet access, a
microphone, and speakers. Most computers nowadays come with both
a microphone and speakers built right in. However, if they don't
have them already, they could purchase both easily. Inform the
parents that they shouldn't have to spend a lot of money; the
basic models will work fine. Although more expensive and not
necessary, some students prefer to use a headset with a
microphone attached. This style helps to reduce the background
noise and may be the best choice for kids that are easily
distracted.

Before a client is ready to use the online classroom they must
configure their microphone. New microphones typically cause an
installation wizard to pop up and walk you through the process
while older microphones can easily be configured by following a
few easy steps.

2. One of the major misconceptions parents have deals with how
communication will occur during the session. Parents are
typically amazed to learn that their child will be able to talk
back and forth with you just as if they are on a telephone, but
without the telephone of course. Many parents expect that their
child will be communicating via typing, as they might have seen
their child instant messaging (IMing) their friends.

3. If for some reason you are unable to show the parent the
demo online, take some time to discuss how the whiteboard works.
Help them to visualize the various features such as the
"freehand" writing tool, the ability to draw shapes, even the
ability to change the size and color of what they are drawing or
writing. Explain to the parents that you or their child will be
able to cut and paste text from a school document such as an
essay, a homework worksheet, a test, or even from another
website right onto the whiteboard so you can both look at the
same thing simultaneously. Give them an example of how you and
their child will use the whiteboard at the same time. I like to
use a math problem as an example and help parents to imagine
their child working out the solution to a math problem on the
whiteboard as I watch and give them instant feedback about what
they are writing as they are writing.

4. Another misconception that parents hold is that they believe
that their child will "share" you with other children. They are
very pleased to hear that you will be working one-on-one with
their child for a full hour at a time.

5. Finally, make parents aware of the scheduling process. Many
parents believe they are locked into running a session with you
at the same time and day each week. Explain that your schedule
will be posted and they are free to select whatever sessions
works best for them on a weekly basis. The fact that the
schedule can change when necessary and that a child can schedule
a session whenever they are most needed is very appealing to a
parent.

Always keep in mind that the parents may not be familiar with
the technology that you hope to use with their child and if you
would like to build a successful business you need to spend
quality time helping potential clients understand what you plan
to do and how you plan to do it.

About The Author: Free Report! Start your own online tutoring
business & earn $25 -$75/hour from home. Get your free report at
http://TutorFi.com's Free Report

3 Parenting Tips To Calm Your Afterwork Routine

Is the after-school, after-work routine creating a crazy,
chaotic homelife for your family? Will all the end-of-the-day
pressures that descend on the typical family these days, it's no
wonder parents feel frazzled and out-of-control.

I've been parenting for over 2 decades and have 4 busy
children. Here are my top 3 parenting tips for putting the calm
back into your family's evening routine.

1. Plan it out.

Sometimes chaos comes from everyone needing to unwind at once.
Of course, your kids have very little maturity to deal with the
fatigue and over-stimulation that comes with a typical day. As
the parent, you have to be willing to delay your own need for
calm and get the rest of the troops in line first. When your
family has a sense of order and control, you'll feel much
calmer, too.

Start with planning out what needs to happen in your evening.
Baths, homework, dinner, sports activities all need to be
written down. If you attempt to do laundry or cleaning in the
evening, write that down, too.

Next write down the amount of time each of those items takes to
do (be honest and reasonable). Now add up the times and compare
the total to what time you actually have between the hours of
after-work and bedtime.

If you're like many families, something's gotta give! This
simple exercise will help you see why you are frustrated day in
and day out. This is where the rubber meets the road; to have a
calmer household you'll need to make the activities you desire
fit into your schedule. This often means cutting something out!

Trust me, you'll never miss whatever you let go of. Take back
the time to actually hug and communicate with your children by
giving up the activities that don't directly contribute to
family growth. For example, a lot of great conversations can be
had between parents and children while cleaning a bathroom. And
let's face it, cleaning bathrooms has to happen!

But usually very little communication can happen between you
and your child while they're on the sports field. Don't get me
wrong, I've done plenty of sports over the years and know how
great they can be for teaching all types of values. But if your
family is reeling in chaos each evening, you're looking for
soothing parenting tips, not high-achievement ideas.

2. Streamline and get organized.

Everyday activities like meal-planning can either produce joy
or chaos in a family's day. Do you have to spend time each
evening deciding what's for dinner, scrounging for ingredients
and feeling resentful you have to give up so much time to
something you don't want to do?

Or do you just give in most evenings and either eat out or use
take-out food? This is fine if it's in your budget, but if it's
not, you are simply increasing your stress load which will
inevitably spill over into your family time.

There are many effective menu-planning tools available today
that can cut your time in the kitchen. Honestly, a smart
parenting tip is to help you see that involving your kids in the
evening meal routine is one of the easiest ways to add calm to a
family.

Depending upon their ages, children can help

-- plan the meals.

-- shop for the meals, understanding both budgetary and
nutritional concerns.

-- set the table and help with the clean-up.

-- cook the meals with supervision.

The same goes for laundry and cleaning duties, too. If one
evening is laundry and cleaning night, then everyone pitches in
and that's the night for pizza. You'll feel less scattered when
the whole family is pulling together.

Of course, these tasks will all go much faster once everyone is
trained, practiced and comes to expect that family involvement
is a part of the evening agenda.

3. Establish routines.

I'm sure you've heard parenting tips like this one before and
for good reason. Unfinished homework, lost supplies, missing
articles of clothing, and forgotten lunches just add to the
chaos level in any home. So abolish them! Establish a place for
each family member's daily stuff (just a basket or bin will do
nicely) and remind daily to use them until habits are
established.

Hey, you're going to have to be serious about this one, Mom or
Dad. My kids know I would even call them home from their
friends' houses simply to have them pick something up they
neglected to put away in the right place before they went off to
have fun.

Over the top? Not when you remember your job as a parent is to
teach the types of habits that will produce appropriate adult
behavior someday. Trust me, you'll only have to do these kinds
of 'reminders' a handful of times. Your kids are very bright.
They'll get the message extremely quickly.

Make a game with your kids about developing routines.

-- Who can figure out the smartest way to put together a
lunchbox station in the kitchen?

-- Who sets down to do their homework first, with no
complaining?

-- Set a timer and see who can get their stuff ready for the
next day the fastest.

-- Give little prizes for shaving off time in doing everyday
duties.

Set the rule that everyone in the household does work before
play. You'll be amazed at the change in your home's stress
levels. One step at a time.

Parenting tips come and go, but the basics in what a family
needs don't change. If you're looking to calm down the evenings
in your home, take a few minutes to plan out what's important to
you, streamline your processes, and establish routines that save
time and sanity.

And your reward? How about a quiet time before bed?

About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com. Visit her website and pick up more
parenting tips at
http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-tip.html .

A Concerned Parent's Guide to Moving Your Family Overseas

There are lots of issues to be considered when deciding to
move your family overseas. It's not as simple as discussing
it with your spouse, packing up and getting on a plane!
Moving to a new country is both exciting and challenging,
and should not be undertaken lightly.

Making the Decision

Consider the impact of such a move on each member of your
family. This move will affect all of their lives. Parents
should review the benefits and liabilities of such a move
before presenting it to the children. Make sure that moving
your family overseas is better for you in the long run, not
only for the short term. Think about whether the sacrifices
you'll need to make will be worth it. We want to prevent
the children from growing up resenting their parents'
decision to move during what they feel is an important part
of their lives.

Opening Discussion

If you're set on moving your family overseas, the next
issue to tackle is how to break the news to the children.
Parents often tend to disregard the opinions and feelings
of their children in making decisions that will affect the
whole family. Some like to simply announce: "Kids, we are
moving overseas." Blunt and to the point, end of
discussion. This isn't the best way as it makes clear to
your children that they don't have any say as to what
happens with their lives.

Even if the decision to move has been made, you still need
to listen to what your kids have to say about it, to show
them that you care about their feelings. Try saying the
following instead: "Kids, we've been presented with a
wonderful opportunity and in order to take advantage of it,
we're going to have to move overseas. What do you think
about that?"

Overcoming Fears

Parents know that most children will react negatively to
the question. After all, it's the unknown and that's scary.
This is natural. Encourage your children to ask questions
and bring up issues they're worried about. By having an
open discussion, you can assuage their fears. You need to
assure them that despite their concerns, everything will be
okay. By listening to what they think and feel, you will
get an understanding of their issues. You can answer all
questions and begin to find solutions to any foreseeable
problems.

Planning the Move

After you've broken the news to the family, the time has
come to make preparations. Good planning will help you make
the transition much smoother for your family. Try to find
people who can help you understand what's involved in the
move. Find and hire services that can assist you with the
intricate details of moving your family overseas.

You need to learn as much about the country you're going to
as possible. If you're moving your family to a location
where a different language is spoken, think about learning
the language together. Make it a fun family activity and
try to use it daily when you're all together. Conversing at
the dinner table only in the new language can lead to lots
of laughs.

Culture shock is also a potential problem when moving
overseas. Learning about the customs and culture ahead of
time will help you and the children feel more comfortable.
It will also make everyone more excited to see these new
customs in action. There will also be differences in small,
previously disregarded things like measurements and
electricity features. If your new country uses different
standards of measurement and different voltages of
electricity, you'll need to learn about these things and
prepare for it ahead of time.

Preparing for the Move

Good preparation means taking care of all the little
details concerning moving your family overseas. Where will
you stay? Where will the children continue their education?
Which personal items will you take with you and which will
be left behind? What clothing do you need in this new
climate? These are all questions that need to be answered.
Think about the legalities involved in moving your family
overseas, including passports and other necessary papers.
Find out about banking and money exchange. It's important
to understand the value of the new currency. Kids will love
to learn all about the new coins and paper money that
doesn't look real!

Remember, the way of life you have known so far is not the
only way of life. People in other countries have their
habits and oddities. Respect the rights of others and
you'll be just fine. Make sure to teach this lesson to your
family too.

By following these suggestions, your family can
successfully navigate the sometimes daunting, always
exciting, move to another country. With the right attitude
and plenty of research and preparation, you can tackle the
job with ease.

About the Author:

Karen Fusco is the co-author of "Busy Moms: The Heart and
Soul of a Home", http://www.BusyMomBook.com , an ebook
filled with time-saving and stress-reducing tips and ideas
to help build a stronger home, a stronger family and a
stronger you. Karen can be reached at karen@busymombook.com.

Are You Using The First 5 Effective Parenting Tips?

You want your kids to have the best and you've only got one
chance to create the kind of adult you want them to be:
thoughtful, enthusiastic, productive, loving and
hardworking. These tips complete last month's list of
effective parenting tips to help you with this challenging
task.

6. Be What You Want Them To Be. Even if you've never
taken a class in psychology, just about everyone knows that
children learn by modeling and the people they model most
often are their parents. Everyone says "I want my children
to be happy." Well, are you happy? Do you have honor and
integrity? Do you treat people the way you want to be
treated? Are you overly materialistic? Are you moody? This
article is not designed to lay any guilt on you because it
won't make you a better parent. If there are things you
want to change about yourself, work on it now. Try to be
the best human you can be. There's a good chance your
children will model your good qualities.

7. Exercise Love not Fear. Don't belittle anyone -
certainly not your children. Don't be sarcastic. Drop all
the negative stuff. Most of us make our decisions based on
one or two emotions: fear or love and for most people,
they're driven by fear more often than they are by love.
If you want healthy children, teach them to act based on
love not fear. In other words, teach them to be in the
minority. I can tell you lots of things not to do: don't be
negative, don't be sarcastic, etc., but what we're really
talking about is don't cause hurt. Don't cause pain. Don't
cause fear. Instead, create love. Build self-confidence.
Let your children know they are safe and protected.

8. Set Rules and Boundaries. It's a law of nature that
every action has a consequent reaction. Every action of
your children has a consequence. Whatever your rules are,
make sure your children understand them and understand the
consequences of breaking them. Breaking those rules is
bound to happen at some point or another, so be sure you
follow through with the consequences - not out of anger or
emotion, but just because those are the consequences.
Discuss with your child what the consequences could be.
Let your child help to establish his own consequences. It
makes it a lot easier for you to enforce if he's
participated in their creation.

9. Be Your Children's Hero. Keep promises. Say what you
mean and mean what you say. If you break your promise,
you're a liar. Let your children inspire you to be the best
you can be. Children will do as you do. I wanted to be my
kid's hero - a role model, a guide, the kind of man they
would one day look for in a husband, the kind of man they
would try to create if they had sons. I found my meaning in
life: I would be great dad. What could be more important
than that? What about you? Will you ever do anything that
is more important than raising your children?

10. Don't Resist Change. Have courage. You've got no
choice. People generally don't like change. We know that
change is inevitable and yet we resist it because we
believe it will be painful. But resisting it is, in itself,
painful. So we resist the unknown because it might be
painful. It all boils down to the fact that we're afraid of
the unknown. Most of our actions are based on fear or love.
Divorce was certainly a huge change and it caused all kinds
of fear. Have faith. Take courageous risks. Create a
stable environment. Don't make comparisons. Look back from
the finish line to move forward. Go out there and really
live. You were meant to do this!

Effective parenting isn't accomplished instantaneously. It
will take practice for you to get all of these into your
method of operating. Practice still makes perfect, even
for you. We'd like to recommend that you re-read this
article and keep it at the ready so the next time your
children require your practical parenting expertise, you'll
know right where to go for it. These ten effective
parenting tips can become your parenting guide to positive
discipline so that your children turn out to be successful
adults.

About the Author:

Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom.
As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom
with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced
Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a
Success Coach and an Attorney.
http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

What Every Parent and Educator Needs to Know About Learning and the Teenager Brain

Dr. Robert Sylwester is an educator of educators, having
received multiple awards during his long career as a master
communicator of the implications of brain science research
for education and learning. His most recent book is The
Adolescent Brain: Reaching for Autonomy (Corwin Press,
2007). He is an Emeritus Professor of Education at the
University of Oregon.

I am honored to interview him today.

Alvaro Fernandez (AF): You recently published a book titled
The Adolescent Brain: Reaching for Autonomy. What advice
would you give to parents and educators of adolescents?

Robert Sylwester (RS): Biological phenomena always operate
within ranges. For example, leaves fall from trees in the
autumn, but typically not all at once. Developmental
changes similarly do not occur at the same time and at the
same rate in all child and adolescent brains. And just as
it's possible for wind or temperature to alter the time
when a leaf might fall, unexpected events can alter the
time when an adolescent has to confront and respond to
given environmental challenges.

The important thing for adults to do is to carefully
observe an adolescent's interests and abilities, and insert
challenges that move maturation forward at a reasonable
level. If you push too fast, you end up with a stressed out
adolescent. If you do not challenge sufficiently, you end
up with a bored adolescent. No magic formula exists for
getting this just right. This means, for example, that we
celebrate the skills of artists and athletes who function
beyond typical human capacity, and we create judicial
sanctions for those whose behavior does not reach
culturally acceptable levels. Most human behavior is
personally chosen and executed within wide ranges. We can
easily observe this wide range in such phenomena as
political discourse and religious belief or practice.
Adolescents strive towards autonomous adulthood as they
gradually discover their interests and capabilities, and
what is biologically possible and culturally appropriate.
They adapt their life to wherever they're most comfortable
within the marvelous sets of possible and appropriate
ranges that exist.

Adolescents take risks, no doubt about that. If you want to
eventually function within any range, you have to locate
its outer positive and negative limits. Speed limits and
other regulations provide direction, but adolescents (and
adults) still tend to move towards the limits - and maybe
just a smidgen beyond.

In short, parents and educators need to pay attention to
observe where adolescent's interests and abilities lie, and
engage them with experiences that will enable them to move
forward.

Alvaro Fernandez (AF): I find that, in an emerging field
like cognitive science, we need to start by clarifying the
language we use. Can you define some words such as
Learning, Education, Brain Development and Cognition.

Robert Sylwester (RS): Sure.

LEARNING: Most organisms begin life with most or all of the
processing systems and information that they need to
survive. Humans are a notable exception in that an
adult-size brain is significantly larger than a mother's
birth canal, so we're born with an immature one pound brain
that develops additional mass and capabilities during its
20 year post-birth developmental trajectory. Parenting,
mentoring, teaching, and mass media are examples of the
cultural systems that humans have developed to help young
people master the knowledge and skills they need to survive
and thrive in complex environments. Learning is one the
main activities we do, even if we often are not aware of it.

EDUCATION: Education, like the culture it subsumes, is a
conservative phenomenon. Science and technology move
rapidly, but education doesn't. So if schools often
resemble the schools of 50 years ago, that should not be
surprising. Parents remember their school experiences, and
since they survived them, they are typically leery about
educators experimenting with their children. This explains
in part why schools have not incorporated many of the
recent developments in neuroscience and cognitive
psychology.

BRAIN DEVELOPMENT: Childhood brain development is focused
on systems that allow children to recognize and remember
the dynamics of environmental challenges - challenges that
protective adults will solve for them. Adolescent brain
development is more focused on frontal lobe development,
the systems that allow us to respond appropriately and
autonomously to the challenges we confront.

COGNITION: Every experience will alter our brain's
organization at some level, so our brain's processing
networks continually change throughout our life. This
process is called brain plasticity. For example, since my
brain has adapted to my switch from a typewriter to a
computer, it would now be difficult (but not impossible)
for me to write again on a typewriter. Now, cognition is
linked to other concepts: emotion is the processing system
that tells us how important something is; attention focuses
us on the important and away from the unimportant things;
problem-solving determines how to respond, partly on the
basis of our memory of prior related experiences; and
behavior carries out the decision. The general term
cognition encompasses these various processes.

AF: Prof. Sylwester, thank you for your great information
and advice.

RS: My pleasure.

About the Author:

Alvaro Fernandez is the CEO and Co-Founder of
SharpBrains.com, which provides the latest science-based
information for Brain Training and Brain Teasers.
SharpBrains has been recognized by Scientific American
Mind, MarketWatch, Forbes. Alvaro holds MA in Education and
MBA from Stanford University, and teaches The Science of
Brain Health at UC-Berkeley Lifelong Learning Institute.
You can learn more at http://www.sharpbrains.com/blog

Are You Using These Five Effective Parenting Tips?

These are the first 5 of 10 Effective Parenting Tips - look
for the next 5 in our next article.

Your kids deserve your very best all the time. You've only
got one chance to mold them into the kind of adult who is
productive, thoughtful, enthusiastic, visionary and
hardworking. You won't always feel good about doing what
is necessary, but remembering that you've only got one
chance to get it right for them will help you do what you
need to do. Here are five effective parenting tips to help
you:

1. There Is No Tomorrow. You've only got right now,
today, to do the right thing and to be there emotionally
for your children.. Once this "right now" is gone, it's
gone forever. Decide that you will make the most of every
single moment as often as possible. Decide that you will
give them your complete attention even if it means setting
your stuff aside. Of course you won't be at the 100%
level. No one is. But if you decide in this right now
moment to utilize as many of the following right now
moments with your kid's benefit held at the forefront, they
will benefit from your decision.

2. Begin With The End In Mind. It won't do any good when
your child is eighteen years old to look back and wish
you'd done things differently. Right now is when you get
to make the decisions that will affect his getting to
eighteen. Think through what you'd like that to be and
then think about how you'll have to "be" in the intervening
years to help your child accomplish that. Be sure to
listen to what your child says he wants and weave that into
the plan. Help your child become an achiever. Your
primary goal as a parent is to give your children the tools
that they can use to lead happy, healthy and successful
lives. That's all that matters. That is your magnificent
obsession. Remind yourself each day of the goal you're
working towards and remind yourself that it doesn't happen
in a single day.

3. Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. Teaching is what
you do every time you interact with your children. And it
always happens today. Whether you're helping with homework,
going to watch a basketball game or sitting down to have
dinner, you are teaching them. It doesn't matter if you're
having dinner in your kitchen or if you're a part-time
parent who is having dinner at McDonald's. What matters is
that you're really there. You are a guide and an anchor.
Know that you are a teacher, that you are a role model.
That's how you will have the greatest impact on your
children. Parenting isn't about stirring speeches or big
events. It's about the quiet times and the little things.

4. Listen To Them. You'll Be Amazed. Listening to your
children is the essence of being with them. When that
little voice in your head is rattling on incessantly about
the past or the future, or coming up with an answer to what
you think they're saying, you're not really hearing what
they say. If you're not present with your children, they
know it. What is the message you're telling them if you're
not present? They're not worthy? They're not important?
They're not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. That means stop
what you're doing, stop watching the T.V., stop reading the
paper, stop thinking about other things. Look. Look into
their eyes, you're less likely to be distracted when you're
looking into their eyes. Listen. Don't let that voice in
your head drown them out. Sometimes to make sure I'm
listening, I will repeat in my head what they're saying.

5. Control Your Emotions. Don't yell at your children. If
you yell at children, they do not hear you. Instead, you're
simply upsetting them. That doesn't mean if you've yelled
at your children, you're going to destroy their psyche.
Remember, take the long view. We're building a foundation
one brick at a time. None of us is perfect. Yelling at your
children and upsetting them once will have no effect on
them. Yelling at them the entire time they grow up,
well.....let's hope that somehow children who have to deal
with that eventually learn how to overcome it. Most of us
fall somewhere in the middle. The point here is that it's
not effective. It's not promoting your magnificent
obsession. Identify what it is that really triggers that
emotion. It's not your children. Keep in mind your goal of
being a great parent and then create a disconnect. Emotions
aren't a bad thing. The problem is that we have triggers
that release our emotions without thinking.

If you use these effective parenting tips, you'll be on
your way to a healthy and happier relationship with your
children. Look for five more tips in our next installment
in this series.

About the Author:

Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom.
As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom
with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced
Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a
Success Coach and an Attorney.
http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com

Why do Most Parents Receive Little or No Training to Parent Effectively?

Have you ever wondered about why this is true?

I have thought about this many times during my 30-plus years as a psychologist. I have counseled thousands of couples and single parents about parenting issues and challenges.

And the following fact still amazes me:

The biggest responsibility in the life of most adults is the raising of our children. It can be an awesome responsibility; however, despite the importance of child rearing, most people receive little or no training in the process.

It has been suggested that in our society more attention is given to the licensing of teenagers to drive cars than to the ability or inability of persons to effectively raise their children.

If you are biologically capable, you can become a parent.

What greater resource to assure the future does any generation have than our children? But how are we managing this resource?

If this generation of parents cannot raise our children any more effectively than we were raised, we cannot expect the next generation to be more emotionally stable, more rational, or happier.

You need only to look at the rising crime rate, the increased use of drugs, the large number of broken families, and the rapid increase in mental health disorders, to realize that previous generations of parents perhaps could have done a better job of parenting.

With the added stresses placed on families today, the task of parenting, unfortunately, is becoming even more important. Behavior problems are becoming more common in more and more families.

During many thousands of counseling sessions, these messages keep coming in loud and clear:

Parents with disobedient, distractible, overactive, moody children typically feel frustrated and angry. Many parents have told me that they feel trapped in a bad situation with no easy exit; everything they have tried in the past has failed.

I have had parents tell me that they feel cheated and duped because they were led to believe that parenthood was so wonderful, yet for them it has been so difficult.

Many parents, especially mothers, have told me that they feel like failures as persons because they are not fulfilling their conception of what a good parent should be.

In almost ALL cases, parents with difficult children report that they feel they are not in control of their children and are, instead, simply reacting to the behavior of their children. These parents give the impression that they are not really raising their children but, rather, their children are raising them.

I have never met a child who knew more about child raising than his or her parents did. To feel loved and secure, children must be effectively guided and disciplined by their parents. Parents must lead, not simply react.

In short, we must become the best possible managers we can be of our children.

Larry Waldman, Ph.D., psychologist and author, is one of the leading parenting and relationship authorities in the United States. To find out how to improve your family relationships, visit his web site at: http://www.the-relationship-doctor.com

Mindful Parenting Tips: Use Family Or Class Meetings For Problem Solving

How old should children be for family meetings?

Never underestimate your child's ability to participate and benefit from a family meeting. I have done them with success with children 15 months old and would not hesitate to include an infant. The thing to remember is that you are creating a format so that you can come up with solutions as a family. This makes the family unit the authority instead of just you (which is a set up for power struggles).

So when you begin having meetings don't expect them to be the cure all. Instead break them down into steps to ensure success.

I am grateful to Rudolph Dreikurs, who introduced me to meetings in The Challenge of Child Training: A Parent's Guide. After using them in my Montessori School and with my family for the last 19 years I have come up with what works best for me. Here are the things to remember:

- Family meetings should occur once a week on the same day, at the same time.

- Schedule a meeting between meals when folks are rested. I like 11 am because we have recently had snack and had some outdoor time, so we are ready to sit and listen and participate.

- Sit at a cleared table, turn off the tv and phone.

- Use a talking stick, only the person with the stick can talk.

- If possible have the special day person lead the meeting. Write down the minutes, keep a journal. It will remind you of what you did and it will be loads of fun to read years down the road.

Remember: Meetings are for finding solutions, NOT FOR GRIPING OR BLAMING. (If folks need to gripe, schedule a gripe session for another time. At the gripe session set the timer for one minute and everyone gets to gripe at the same time. You'll all end up laughing.)

For the first month follow this format:

1. Open the meeting by passing the stick around and inviting each person to share what they are grateful for.

2. Thank everyone for their contributions, even the little one who says, "I like bananas."

3. Pass the talking stick and have everyone make suggestions about what fun family activity you can do right after the meeting.

4. Vote on the suggestions. Expect the little ones to vote for each option. Don't correct them, they'll get it eventually. Be sure that the parents don't always vote together.

5. Close the meeting by letting the leader choose a song for everyone to sing. Seerve dessert! It's a great way to get those older children to participate!

6. Go do the fun family activity.

The second month:

1. Introduce compliments. Pass the stick and have each person compliment themself. Alternate gratefuls and self compliments each week.

2. Introduce issues. Pass the stick and ask each person, "Do you have an issue that you would like help solving?"

3. Address the first CHILD issue that is presented. (Save adult issues for the next month.).

4. Pass the stick and have each person make a suggestion for a solution. If someone doesn't have one let them "pass". Have two solutions yourself in case no one offers one. Make sure solutions are RELATED, RESPECTFUL and REASONABLE!

5. Let the person with the issue decide: either they choose a solution or the family votes. Vote if the issue concerns the entire family.

6. Sing. Have dessert.

The third month:

1. Introduce complimenting each other. Have each person compliment the person sitting next to them (let the leader decide which direction to go) by acknowledging something that person did. Now alternate gratefuls, self acknowledgments and complimenting others, one per meeting.

2. Introduce the written agenda. Folks may write, draw a picture, or dictate their issue. Vote on how may issues they can write each week. Post the agenda in a central location.

3. When someone comes to report an issue, invite them to write it on the agenda. Follow the agenda in sequence. Ask each person if it is still an issue for them. Often times they have resolved it themself. Ask if they would like to share how they solved their problem.

4. Adults may begin to present an issue. Only one adult issue per meeting from here on out! I suggest that the first time one parent present an issue about the other parent to help the children realize that it's not the adults versus the kids.

5. Phrase your issue this way: "I am having a problem with (the situation). Can you please help me come up with a solution?" Folks want to help us when we take responsibility for us having a problem rather than blaming others.

6. Strive to arrive at a consensus where everyone agrees on one solution so the family is not divided on issues that involve the family as a whole. Frame the solutions as "an experiment" that you're going try for a week.

If someone isn't happy with the outcome, including yourself, then they can put it on the agenda for the next meeting.

7. If you haven't done so already, vote on how long the meetings will last. I recommend that you keep them short, so folks will continue to want to attend. (If an older child does not want to attend, that's fine. Once they realize that decisions are being made for them they might change their mind.)

Extras:

1. A family member may call a mid- week meeting, if desired.

2. As children get older, use family meetings to schedule everyone's events for the coming week and enter them on a calendar.

3. Everyone follows the agreed on solutions until they reappear on the agenda. No falling back on the adults re-taking charge! (unless of course it's a safety issue.)

4. Have a meeting each week even when there are no issues. Have News Period instead.

5. Single parent or roommate family units can have meetings as well as larger family units. Use the same format. Classes can use this format too. Place chairs in a big circle. Majority rules.

Remember: You are setting the stage for the future by creating a format that your family will be so familiar with that when you REALLY have issues you'll be able to solve them as a family in a respectful, cooperative way.

And now I would like offer you free access to my online parenting newsletter, Mindful Parenting Tips: http://www.mindfulparentingtips.com

Tulum Dothee, credentialed and certified educator and counselor can be reached at: http://www.asktulum.com

Mindful Parenting Tips: Take Time For Training And Planning

Take time for training. Children often don't know what is expected of them. Time constraints often lead to a lack of training. When children don't know what is expected of them or how to accomplish a task, problems will arise.

In Positive Discipline, Jane Nelson reminds us to take time for training and planning to avoid power struggles, frustration, hassles and misunderstandings.

Children often don't know what is expected of them. Time constraints often lead to a lack of training. When children don't know what is expected of them or how to accomplish a task, problems will arise.

Take time for training. As Jane says make sure children understand what "clean the kitchen" means to you. To them it may mean simply putting the dishes in the sink. Parents and teachers may ask, "What is your understanding of what is expected?".

Do training at neutral moments. I'd like to add to make it short and fun. Repeat the lesson until they get it. Acknowledge their efforts whether successful or not and leave the result without correction.

I've also found that it makes all the difference in the world when you prep your child for the day and upcoming events. Tell him the plan, how things will work and how we, as people, act under those circumstances. "When we go to the park, this is how we act..."

Jane goes onto tell us to avoid morning hassles by establishing routines the night before. Make lunches, lay out clothes. Get backpacks ready with homework, books etc.

Help children figure out how much time they need to get ready in the morning and set an alarm in their room. Let them experience the consequences if they don't get up in time.

Nip bedtime avoidance by planning a night time routine. Involve the children in establishing the plan. Stick to it with firmness.

After dinner, remind them of the plan you developed together, "Here's our plan... we will put on pajamas, brush teeth, read two books, share our happy and sad times of the day, then go to bed."

Per Maria Montessori, children from the approximate ages of one to three years enter the Sensitive Period for Order developmental phase.

Children need routine and order in the home environment making it especially important to establish and communicate a plan.

Remember to make the training fun! Use role playing to act out the plan. Rotate the roles. Children love that!

And now I would like offer you free access to my online parenting newsletter, Mindful Parenting Tips: http://www.mindfulparentingtips.com

Tulum Dothee, credentialed and certified educator and counselor can be reached at: http://www.asktulum.com

Healthy Snacks for Kids

Snacking has become a feature in the routine of most families every day. Due to the fact that finding time for a healthy meal is a difficult task, snacking has become a major feature in most of our diets. It is essential to keep on top of snacking, however, and make sure that what we do consume between regular mealtimes is healthy and good for our bodies. Of course, this is also true when it comes to our children, and ensuring their health and well being can be an even trickier task. Kids bodies need sources of energy to keep them active, and to help them grow and develop into adolescence and adulthood. Additionally, with the increasing problem of obesity in children, it is essential to ensure you child has only the best of healthy snacks throughout the day.

The first consideration to take into account is your child's happiness. Achieving a balance between healthy living and a happy child is something many parents adopting the gung-ho 'my way or no way' approach fail to reach. Not only is this antiquated parenting, but it is also a sure-fire way to turn your child off healthy living. Don't completely ban treats, but keep them to a minimum. Think of everything in balance and moderation as the best way to achieve a healthy diet.

A good place to start is with introducing fruit and vegetables. Experts tell us that we should consume a minimum of five portions daily, and this might at first seem like a high hurdle to meet. However, by introducing vegetables into every meal, and promoting fruit as the alternative choice between times, you can sneak in those added portions, and they really do add up. It's also a good idea to maintain an open mind yourself, and to experiment with other fruits and vegetables until you find something appealing to your child's taste-buds. After a while, fruit and vegetables will become an engrained part of daily life, and will be something your children crave at every opportunity. Until that point however, it is best to take a sensible approach to your child's healthy eating plan.

Healthy eating is a scary phrase for most adults, and for children, it can be even more daunting. It's up to you as the parent to enforce healthy eating through making sensible life choices, and it's also important to ensure your child understands the need for a healthy balances lifestyle.

Jonathon Hardcastle writes articles for http://fitnessandourworld.com/ - In addition, Jonathon also writes articles for http://universeofbeauty.net/ and http://fitness-talk.net/

Parenting Challenge: What's Wrong with Kids Today?

We seldom want to look at the statistics about suicide in children and young people, but they are important to consider. As parents and educators we tend to ignore this subject, pretending it doesn't happen in "good" families. The belief is that suicide happens only
in troubled families to troubled children.

At the ChildSpirit Conference I attended in November, Joseph Chilton Pearce, author of numerous books including The Magical Child, gave us a startling statistic. "Suicide is the third leading cause of death among children and young people". This number includes only the young people who succeed, not those who attempt and live.

He said this is unprecedented in the history of humankind. Never before have we witnessed children ending their own life in such numbers.*Additional figures from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: "Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds."

These are shocking statistics! They cry out for us to wake and to pay attention. Most of us never think of children ages 5 - 14 committing suicide.

Child and youth suicide is important because it is the tip of the iceberg. What lies beneath the water's surface are all the other expressions of emotional dis-ease in children. These include ADD, teen's dropping out of school, over-weight children, depression, anxiety, excessive time playing video games, defiance, tantrums and emotional upsets.

The fact that suicide rates in young people are higher than they have ever been in the human history indicates the pervasiveness of the problem. It demands our attention, not because your child will commit suicide some day, but because your child is being raised in
the same emotional cultural stew.

In the last two months, I heard about the suicides of two men in their early twenties that shocked their families and those who knew them. Both men were highly successful and were leaders in their field. To everyone around them, they appeared happy and to be living full lives.

Yet something was seriously wrong with their internal experience of themselves and of life. Reason tells us, suicide is not something that is done lightly and for insignificant reasons. It is an act of desperation, of seeing no other way. It is the ultimate expression of profound loss, futility, failure, powerlessness, hopelessness, or anger.

Our culture tends to ignore emotional pain and discomfort. We ask children to suppress their unhappy feelings and then place extreme pressures on them to succeed and to meet society's and our standards. We ask them to be someone other than who they are, and then wonder why they do irrational, hurtful things.

We all love and enjoy the innocence and tenderness of young children. We want them to keep it forever. This innocence and tenderness is based on their emotional sensitivity, their connection with their feelings and their awareness of the feelings of others.

Acts of suicide and violence in children are cries for us to wake up as individuals and as a society. What's wrong with young people today? Nothing. Children are as loving, brilliant, and joyous as ever.

What's wrong with young people are their relationships with important adults in their lives, their relationship with themselves, traditional models of education and the emotional environment in which they are being raised. When we ignore a child's emotional wholeness, we do it at our peril.

In order for young people to flourish emotionally, they need several things. They need safe relationships where they can be who they are and where they can honestly talk about their needs, desires and feelings.

They need internal strategies to handle the emotionally painful times. They need people who believe in them always. They need a strong, positive ground of being within themselves.

How can you give this to your child and to your students? Begin today to pay attention to the emotional wholeness of your child. Gain understanding and develop approaches that nurture his positive experience of himself and of life. Give him the nurturing and tools he needs for a joyous, fulfilling life.

Your child's emotional wholeness is the foundation for her life. When her emotional wholeness is strong and clear, she can accomplish so much and be fulfilled and happy as a person. This is the most important gift you can give your child and your students.

You lay an emotional foundation for your child, whether you are aware of it or not. Every interaction with your child and every experience she has in life creates the emotional environment in which she develops.

These experiences help her build strong emotional resources or they weaken her internal resilience and ability to flourish. This is true whether your child is six weeks, 6 years or 16 years old.

Commit today to making your child's emotional wholeness a priority. Then watch what new things you discover and what experiences occur in your child's life and in your own.


Connie Allen, M.A. of Joy with Children. Connie helps parents and educators who are unsure how to best empower their child. . For information on how you can nurture the joyous inner spirit of children, subscribe to her free e-newsletter "Joy with Children" at http://www.joywithchildren.com

The Development of A Baby's Mind Through Stimulation

Every parent wants what is best in life for their children and as a result they strive hard to give their babies the best possible start in life. It is now a widely accepted fact that you must stimulate a young baby's mind from an early an age as possible. Parents want the best possible education for their children and in order to achieve this, they have to get them into the best performing schools.

In their quest to provide them with a good education many parents start educating their own children in the home. In the past this began when the child was able to walk and talk. The process now begins as soon as the baby comes home from hospital by providing the baby with objects that will stimulate their mind.

Many parents now purchase interactive toys for their babies. Research has shown that babies react to bright coloured toys. There is now a vast choice of new baby toys available all brightly coloured. Many new baby soft toys now have microchips imbedded inside them. This enables the toys to talk or even sing a lullaby. The new baby quickly picks up the sound of the toy and soon learns how to interact with it. This process is now so advanced that the microchips are produced in many different languages. As a result a baby in England can learn the same lullaby as a baby in China, each baby hearing the lullaby in their own country's mother tongue.

Traditional baby toys are still popular with the time old favourites being the ones that rattle. The baby again interacts with these toys learning how to rattle them and where the rattle comes from. In the same way as modern baby toys, some of the old fashioned baby toys also help to stimulate a baby's mind.

The one thing that all of these toys have in common is the ability to make the baby inquisitive and there by speeding up their thought process. The key to the successful mind development of a baby is to make sure that they enjoy the process and that they regard it as a game. Provide them with toys that are cute, cuddly, noisy and colourful. Slowly introduce more toys and games and make the learning process a fun event. The trick is to interact with the baby when playing these games there by not making it a chore or bore to the young child. By providing them with the correct range of toys you can easily teach them about colours, counting and animals while at the same time and most importantly still allowing them to be a baby.

As the baby grows older you can slowly introduce more educationally slanted games and begin to expand your baby's mind in a fun but subtle way. Encourage the baby to interact with the toys and also interact with you. It is soon very easy to introduce counting games and also to teach the alphabet. There is no better way of doing this than of reading the baby stories.

The use of expression and laughter helps to keep the babies attention. As the child grows older, you should then involve them more in the story but naming one of the characters after them.

By combining and introducing some of the above techniques is a fun way of helping your baby grow up and their mind develop. There are now many baby toys to choose from that are not only fun for the baby but also educationally simulative. It makes sense to take advantage of these toys and providing your baby with the best possible starts in life.

Andrew Gibson is MD of The Card and Gift Company. It is one of the fastest growing online retailers of new baby cards and gifts. To see an example of why The Card and Gift Company is growing so rapidly have a look at http://www.thecardandgiftcompany.co.uk/Gifts/ByEvent/Baby

Pitfalls in Parenting and How to Overcome Them

Previous generations where raised under the premise that children
are to be seen and not heard. If they altered in teaching, the
next generation was heard. But, their words were not taken
seriously; as adults always think they know more than children
do.

Following generations often have few to no guidelines, wherein
children's behavior screams for someone to care enough to say,
"No."

Though, what if God did that to us? When we call out to Him, can
you imagine God responding with, "I can't hear you"? When we cry,
what if He mocked our words, "Cry my hands full. You're nothing
but a big baby"? Or, we could be given blame for all that ails
us, "All he does is wine", or even worse, "Come here and I'll
give you something to cry about!"

What if God did not care more about you than the comfort of the
moment, "Sure, do whatever you want. I just want you to like me."
Try some of that on church visitation and see how effective you
are. But, instead, God takes great care in parenting, to do it
right. He looks deeper, to meet the need of the heart.

Why should God listen to our prayers when we do not listen to our
children?

Doesn't God love us enough to say, "No", when it will hurt us or
someone else?

Still worse were the teachings of "spare the rod, spoil the
child". During the days of preaching 'hell, fire, and brimstone',
parents showed children what they thought God was like; drawing
blood, in the name of the Lord. What happened to "thy rod and thy
staff they comfort me"?

Is it any wonder adults think they can not come to God?

Once children 'know' they have a consistent place of refuge they
can depend upon, in time of need, many annoying traits of
childhood disappear.

Few come to realize children are living souls first and children
second. Taking God as a perfect example, we are to be spiritual
parents. Only when children become willfully defiant, for
non-need reasons, do we have the right to act in disciplinary
fashions and, still then, with God's guidance.

If God offered us grace, then, why do we hold children
accountable under our law (or His), without consideration of
extenuating circumstances? When we accuse and punish children,
without considering their heart or getting facts straight, we
could be shedding innocent blood.

Children are an heritage of the LORD. They are not possessions,
but a gift to raise for Him. The fruit of the womb is HIS reward.
Psalm 27:3

Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the
tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his
fruit. Matthew 12:33 The relationship children have with parents
will affect their relationship with God. For, however we perceive
earthly parents is how we perceive God.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not
prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? And
in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess
unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work
iniquity. Matthew 7:21-23

As is with everything, the only way to parent perfectly is to ask
God every time; letting Him be our parent. Not every one that
saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of
heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in
heaven. Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and
doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his
house upon a rock. Matthew 7:21, 24.

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort
of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and
mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same
love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done
through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each
esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his
own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this
mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:1-5

In every way God loves us, we are to love others in return and
that includes our children; grace for grace (John 1:16). It is
our opportunity to thank Jesus for loving us.

In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence:
and his children shall have a place of refuge.
Proverbs 14:26

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© by Joyce C. Lock
http://iam.homewithGod.com/glimpsesofgod/
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__._,_.___

Money Smart Parents Produce Money Smart Kids!

Did you know that children really are just the same as little adults, they have all the same faculties that adults have with the possible exception of vocabulary and experience.

They usually have a far more imaginative mind than adults and are far more open minded. We generally allow our children to explore their imagination through role play, dressing up and playing games. When was the last time, with the possible exception of Halloween, that you saw an adult swash buckling a wooden sword like Captain Jack Sparrow?

It is only when we grow up that we get conditioned by our paradigm. It is this that restricts our ability to dream big dreams like we used to. We tend to see ourselves being practical with our dreams, rather than imaginative. This paradigm is often formed by our parents, friends, schooling and other outside influences.

In the writing of our recommended expenditure control book Control Freak a Recipe for Debt Freedom we were lucky enough to work with some very financially literate people and we noticed they usually had a similar family background that revealed they all had financially smart parents.

They grew up with the subject of money from a very young age. These financially astute adults, with high financial qualifications had been introduced to the cost of living, budgeting and future financial planning from the age of 6 and above. It was this conditioning that put them on the fast track as an adult. This was the seed that we have used to create Kids Money Packs.

By utilising the open mindedness of children when they are still young and unrestricted in their thoughts and actions, parents stand a real chance of having a positive influence on the way they will always value money.

With no current education in schools to teach simple money management to our children, the responsibility lies firmly with parents. If parents have little or no financial skills themselves, their children are likely to grow up into becoming a debt statistic of the future.

With the cost of living rising to the highest levels of all time, there has never been a more important time to raise the awareness of how important learning simple money management techniques are for the next generation.

By endorsing the ethic that effort should be rewarded, too many parents often simply give their children gifts, treats, snacks, computer games, clothes and candy with no effort on the childs part to have earned them in some way. It is this that creates an imbalance in the childs perception that money has little or no value attached and can be the source of many frustrating moments in family life.

It takes effort and consistency on the part of parents to realise that this teaching is their responsibility and without taking the time to install respect of earning money into their childrens lives at a young age, they may well find that their child grows to 30 years old and beyond with nothing but debt to their name.

Diane Cossie has creatively brought together an imaginative way to introduce simple money management techniques to children as young as 6. Kids Money Packs are available to download straight from the website at http://www.kidsmoneypack.co.uk

 

Check out these new baby and parenting sites

Baby Help Tips

Baby Sitting

Kids, Cars And Car Insurance: Advice For Nervous Parents

If you have a child who has just turned 16 (or is going to turn
16 soon), you are probably a nervous wreck. Sitting in the car
while they are practicing is enough to give you a mild heart
attack, because of the way that they handle themselves in
traffic. After they get their license, you aren't going to be
able to sleep at night knowing that they are out alone in your
car. Plus, your car insurance rates are going to go up and cost
you an arm and a leg now.

Ever since your teenager turned 13, they have probably been
begging you to buy them a car for their 16th birthday. If you
can, you may buy them a used car that is safe and big enough, so
that when they get into their first crash they will be alright.
But, along with this car, you are also going to have to get good
car insurance that will cover them when they hit their first
parked car on a snowy day, get rear-ended for the first time,
and so on.

When shopping for car insurance quotes, you may be tempted to
go with the cheapest quote. When getting these car insurance
quotes, you are going to see a wide array of options and prices,
and it can be really confusing. It can kind of be like comparing
apples and oranges, because the cheap car insurance that you get
for about $100 a month for your child might actually be more
expensive in the long run than a policy that is a bit more
expensive and costs $120.

When purchasing car insurance, you are going to have to make
sure you are comparing apples with apples and oranges with
oranges. You may want to look at your car insurance and see
about getting a policy that is similar to yours. When talking to
the insurance agent, you may decide to up the liability
insurance, in case your son or daughter causes an accident.

The first place that parents should look for car insurance when
trying to get a policy for their teen son or daughter is from
their own insurance company. A lot of places will give you cheap
car insurance if you have more than one car or more than one
driver insured at the same place. You might get a 10% discount,
which can add up to hundreds of dollars over the course of the
year. Another thing to consider is to get car insurance from a
company that offers other insurance for your family, for
example, from the same company that offers your home owner's
insurance.

Car insurance for teenagers can be really tricky, and the best
thing to do is to shop around and get quite a few car insurance
quotes. Sure, you probably will end up going with the car
insurance company that you originally chose for your insurance,
but knowing what other companies offer for their prices will
help you to decide whether or not to change plans with your
teenager and get a better price. Cheap car insurance can really
be deceptive, so make sure that you are comparing the car
insurance you currently have with that different car insurance
company is offering.

About The Author: Quoteme.ie is Irelands leading specialist
broker dedicated to providing their clients with
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Parenting Tips for Young Parents

Everyone has tips for new parents but nor everyone knows what is best for that families situation. Some parents try to get help from an outside source like some of the agencies that are out there to help out others. The only problem is that some of them that are giving out the advice have no children of their own.

Some people that are asked advice should really not be giving tips because their tips may have not worked in their own family. So why do they think it would work in someone else's? Or it could be the opposite of where it worked in theirs but not in another family. It makes it hard to get or give parenting tips because every situation is different.

The best tips that have been heard so far is that you do not have to explain yourself to your kids. Another one would be do not get into yelling battles with your kids because neither of you will get anywhere with it and do not give in to them about what you say needs done and what they feel that they need to know what will happen if it does get done in a timely matter.

No matter how you would go about it you need to hold your ground in what you believe is the right way. Don't let others control what you say needs to be done and how it needs to be done. Plus you need to stick with what you say will be the consequences if something is not done to you satisfaction.

Just like if you say that they are not allowed to go somewhere or do something you would need to stick to what you say or they will walk all over you. And you may be able to give a little when things are done to your satisfaction and beyond with out asking to be done. One thing you could do is give an allowance if they do the work without being asked and if they do more than asked then give a little extra. Most of all just sit down and let the kids know what you want them to do for you.

For information on better parenting and how you can communicate with your children, please check out:

http://www.parenting-tips-online.info