his or her future, but everyone's future. The results of your
parenting will ripple and spread through the years, affecting
thousands, and eventually millions of people. If you want the
future to be better than the present, then you had better learn
the principles of quality and how they apply to being a parent,
for that is all that quality is: making things better.
No matter how good or not-so-good parent you are or think you
are, you can be better. There are no upper limits on quality in
parenting. The first, necessary, and most important step is to
WANT to be a better parent. You have to choose, every day,
whether you want to be a worse parent, stay the same, or be a
better parent. There are no other choices. Being a better parent
doesn't "just happen." If you don't choose to be a better
parent, you are effectively choosing one of the other two
options.
This also happens to be the first major principle of quality:
Quality is an Attitude. Quality is wanting things to be better.
It is aligning your sights in the direction of improvement.
The next most important step to improving your quality as a
parent is to give yourself some credit. You deserve a lot of
credit, probably more than you get. The very fact that you are
willing to raise a child, to take that responsibility, in an
uncertain world and against all odds, gives you high status. If
you are part of a couple, you share that status, and had better
acknowledge it in each other, at least.
Because opinions vary so widely about how to raise children,
and because many people are taught that criticizing people is a
way to help them (which it isn't), you may sometimes be
criticized for how you are raising your children. This is when
that credit you just gave yourself is important. You are doing
something difficult, bravely. You are trying to get better at
it. Others may try to sway you toward their way of thinking. But
as long as you keep that Quality Attitude, and know you are
working toward improvement, you can let their words roll off.
Welcome to the second principle of quality: Quality Leads to
Opposition.
The third major principle of quality, in parenting and
everything else, is that Quality Takes Time. Small changes add
up to big improvements, but not usually in huge dramatic leaps.
Every time you take one small action, say one small word, that
will help your child grow up happy and strong and ethical, and
so make the future better, you have moved one step further up
the path of quality parenting.
So what are these small actions and words? You have to decide
that, as well. The tests are simple.
First, ask yourself what attitudes you don't like in other
people, and teach the opposite attitudes to your child. Treat
him or her with the attitudes you want him or her to learn. For
example, if you don't like people who interrupt you, then listen
to your child, from infancy onward, without interrupting. If you
don't like people to hit you or shout at you ... well, you get
the idea.
Second, and this is a bit harder, ask yourself what attitudes
or behaviors you are not fond of in yourself, and try not to
pass them on to your child. If you are not as neat and tidy as
you wish you were, for instance, make an effort to demonstrate
being neat to your child.
Quality parenting is not about being perfect. It is about
moving in that direction, trying to improve. In the example
above, you might still not be as tidy as you wish. But if you
can make something neat that you normally wouldn't, where your
child can see, that is improvement. That is increasing your
quality as a parent. Every small step you make in that direction
is valuable. They add up, and build on each other.
As you learn more about the principles of quality, and the
basic quality actions, you will find more and more ways to apply
them to parenting. The above three major principles are just the
beginning. For now, remember the motto: Improving quality
creates a better future, for everyone.
About The Author: Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality
and its principles and applications. Finally he has put his
hard-found knowledge into a readable, usable book: Anyone Can
Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. You can find
out more about the book at http://www.principl
