Quality Parenting

When you raise a child, you are creating the future. Not just
his or her future, but everyone's future. The results of your
parenting will ripple and spread through the years, affecting
thousands, and eventually millions of people. If you want the
future to be better than the present, then you had better learn
the principles of quality and how they apply to being a parent,
for that is all that quality is: making things better.

No matter how good or not-so-good parent you are or think you
are, you can be better. There are no upper limits on quality in
parenting. The first, necessary, and most important step is to
WANT to be a better parent. You have to choose, every day,
whether you want to be a worse parent, stay the same, or be a
better parent. There are no other choices. Being a better parent
doesn't "just happen." If you don't choose to be a better
parent, you are effectively choosing one of the other two
options.

This also happens to be the first major principle of quality:
Quality is an Attitude. Quality is wanting things to be better.
It is aligning your sights in the direction of improvement.

The next most important step to improving your quality as a
parent is to give yourself some credit. You deserve a lot of
credit, probably more than you get. The very fact that you are
willing to raise a child, to take that responsibility, in an
uncertain world and against all odds, gives you high status. If
you are part of a couple, you share that status, and had better
acknowledge it in each other, at least.

Because opinions vary so widely about how to raise children,
and because many people are taught that criticizing people is a
way to help them (which it isn't), you may sometimes be
criticized for how you are raising your children. This is when
that credit you just gave yourself is important. You are doing
something difficult, bravely. You are trying to get better at
it. Others may try to sway you toward their way of thinking. But
as long as you keep that Quality Attitude, and know you are
working toward improvement, you can let their words roll off.
Welcome to the second principle of quality: Quality Leads to
Opposition.

The third major principle of quality, in parenting and
everything else, is that Quality Takes Time. Small changes add
up to big improvements, but not usually in huge dramatic leaps.
Every time you take one small action, say one small word, that
will help your child grow up happy and strong and ethical, and
so make the future better, you have moved one step further up
the path of quality parenting.

So what are these small actions and words? You have to decide
that, as well. The tests are simple.

First, ask yourself what attitudes you don't like in other
people, and teach the opposite attitudes to your child. Treat
him or her with the attitudes you want him or her to learn. For
example, if you don't like people who interrupt you, then listen
to your child, from infancy onward, without interrupting. If you
don't like people to hit you or shout at you ... well, you get
the idea.

Second, and this is a bit harder, ask yourself what attitudes
or behaviors you are not fond of in yourself, and try not to
pass them on to your child. If you are not as neat and tidy as
you wish you were, for instance, make an effort to demonstrate
being neat to your child.

Quality parenting is not about being perfect. It is about
moving in that direction, trying to improve. In the example
above, you might still not be as tidy as you wish. But if you
can make something neat that you normally wouldn't, where your
child can see, that is improvement. That is increasing your
quality as a parent. Every small step you make in that direction
is valuable. They add up, and build on each other.

As you learn more about the principles of quality, and the
basic quality actions, you will find more and more ways to apply
them to parenting. The above three major principles are just the
beginning. For now, remember the motto: Improving quality
creates a better future, for everyone.

About The Author: Don Dewsnap has spent years studying quality
and its principles and applications. Finally he has put his
hard-found knowledge into a readable, usable book: Anyone Can
Improve His or Her Life: The Principles of Quality. You can find
out more about the book at http://www.principles-of-quality.com

Parenting Child With ADHD

Lets be totally, brutally honest: raising a child with ADHD can
be very draining and place a heavy strain on your emotions.m
Many people keep asking on how to parent an ADHD child.
Frustration and impatience can slowly develop for parent of
child with ADHD, and stress just seems to well up inside of you,
and the best and most effective way on parenting children with
ADHD is a near impossible question to answer.

It is the bond that exists between parent and child that is
crucial, making all the difference, if the parent and child have
mutual trust and are able to competently communicate, then this
makes raising an adhd child much easier.

PARENTING SKILLS FOR CHILDREN WITH ADHD - how to parent a child
with ADHD :

1. Patience is crucial

One of the fundamental requirements you need in parenting
skills for adhd odd children and survive with a child with ADHD
is patience. Remember, even when the child is at their most
infuriating, at a stage of development where they are ready to
drive you to madness, remember it is not their fault they do not
choose to be the way they are. When you feel exasperated try and
imagine just how exasperated the child must feel in their
struggle to learn.

Be a friend and let your child trust in you:

Let your child feel they can trust in you, that they can
confide in you with their secrets, their fears, worries and
concerns as well as the triumphs they have. Don't trivialize or
patronize the child, and make sure to treat them with dignity
and respect at all times, and actually listen. Don't let your
child think that they have to bottle their emotions up.

2. Engage with your child, and spend time with them:

Try and spend as much quality time as you can with your child,
and do not listen passively to what they say, or with a bored
disinterest. Make a fuss of your child and be physically
affectionate, ask them how are they enjoying school, what games
did they play. This makes the child feel valued and loved, and
all it takes is some patience and time.

3. Be aware of erratic sleeping patterns, and be patient

Children who suffer from ADHD have disturbed and erratic
sleeping patterns, either suffering from bouts of insomnia,
excessive sleeping or an unhappy mixture of the two. Sometimes
they will suffer from bad nightmares and broken sleep, so make
sure that if they have a bad night you are close at hand for
security and reassurance.

4. Engage with the child with ADHD in all activities

It may sound like a nightmare to the parents, but a child with
ADHD cant help but want their parents as close by as possible,
regardless of what activity they are currently engaged in. Make
sure therefore to be especially attentive and affectionate to
such a child, and engage with them, whether it is watching the
TV with them or playing a game.

About The Author: Learn the tips and techniques in disciplining
adhd child and prevent depression in child with adhd when you
visit http://www.adhdchildparenting.com, a portal which caters
for child living with adhd and help for adhd child.

Parenting Teenagers -- Who Does Your Teen Trust?

Mom or Dad, this is an easy question. You want him to trust
you! YOU want to be the person of influence in your teen's life.
You want your teen to listen to you! You want her to respect
you. You want him to come to you when he needs advice.

Parenting teenagers effectively requires learning some
fundamental skills. These skills are not difficult and you
probably already know them. However, skip over them or refuse to
apply them appropriately and you may find your teen wants
nothing to do with you.

1. Listening.

If you want your teenager to listen to you, you must first
listen to him. That's old news, right? You already know all
about that, don't you? But are you doing it?

If you are serious about encouraging your teenager to listen to
you, then try this little exercise. Keep a log of exactly how
many minutes each day you *intentionally* and *intensely* listen
to your teen. No newspapers or cell phones between you. You must
be looking her in the eyes and you must be reflecting her words
back to her in order to make sure you understand what she's
saying as precisely as possible.

Do you do this just ten minutes a day? You can do anything for
ten minutes a day, right? Give it a try for a solid thirty days.

Do you find this difficult? Look at it this way. If you won't
listen in this way to your teen, why in the world should he
*really* listen to you?

2. Respect.

Respect is an earned quality and nowhere is this truer than
when parenting teenagers. Teens are very good at knowing when
someone is truly on their side or when they are being merely
accommodated.

If you want them to respect your time, then respect theirs. If
you want your teen to respect your conversations, then respect
theirs. Teach them the 'how' of respectful behavior by extending
it to them, and then tell them you expect it back from them.

Here's a strong hint: if you are working hard on your listening
skills and giving your teen your absolute, undivided attention
each and every day, you are moving up on her respect meter.
Fast.

3. Person of influence.

Every parent of a teenager wants to be the go-to person for
their teen. And rightfully so. Don't make the mistake of trying
to be your teen's best friend, however. That's not your job at
this critical part of their life.

They need you to be a lot more than their friend. They need you
to be their *parent* and no one else can take over that role, so
really throw yourself into the part!

When parenting teenagers, you need to be a leader in your
family. Don't know how to do that? Look at your own life and ask
yourself if *you* are interested in following *you*. Your
answers will tell you a lot about how your teen looks at you and
what you need to do to be the person your young teenager knows
he can trust with the cares and concerns of his life.

Here's another parenting hint: focusing on listening and
respect will get you headed in the right direction quickly.
Every one of us who are parenting teenagers need to be skilled
at those qualities.

When it comes to parenting teenagers, there are no magic
formulas that bring guaranteed success. But there are some
simple strategies that have been proven to work time after time.
To be the person your teenager comes to when he needs something,
lay a strong foundation of respect and careful listening.

It won't be long until you're hearing a lot more than whom he
thinks will win the game this weekend.

About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com. Learn more today about parenting
teenagers at
http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-teenager.html .

Helping Parents Understand What Online Tutoring Is All About

One of the biggest challenges to running a successful online
tutoring business is getting parents to understand exactly what
online tutoring is and how it will work for their child. Never
assume that the parents that you will be dealing with are as
tech savvy as the children you will be tutoring. Often times
they have no idea what to expect, let alone believe that you
will truly be able to help their child through cyberspace. They
may also hold the misconception that they will have to purchase
expensive software or gadgets to make their computer work with
yours.

It is your responsibility to make parents completely understand
what online tutoring is, how it is accomplished, and exactly how
you will use this technology to help their child be more
successful in school.

The best way to make parents understand how online tutoring
works is to show them. I created a demonstration that is now
available online at http://www.tutorfi.com/highspeeddemo.asf I
highly recommend directing a parent to this link and encouraging
them to watch it and see how it works for themselves. Make sure
you are available after they have watched it to discuss their
responses and remaining questions with you.

There may be instances in which a parent is on the phone with
you, possibly during the initial conversation, and it is
inconvenient to get online together at that time. In these cases
it is up to you to make the parent understand everything while
still on the phone. I have been in this situation countless
times and found that I always came across the same
misconceptions and questions from parents. I have summarized the
areas that I consistently addressed in the five areas discussed
below.

1. Explain that the only requirements are internet access, a
microphone, and speakers. Most computers nowadays come with both
a microphone and speakers built right in. However, if they don't
have them already, they could purchase both easily. Inform the
parents that they shouldn't have to spend a lot of money; the
basic models will work fine. Although more expensive and not
necessary, some students prefer to use a headset with a
microphone attached. This style helps to reduce the background
noise and may be the best choice for kids that are easily
distracted.

Before a client is ready to use the online classroom they must
configure their microphone. New microphones typically cause an
installation wizard to pop up and walk you through the process
while older microphones can easily be configured by following a
few easy steps.

2. One of the major misconceptions parents have deals with how
communication will occur during the session. Parents are
typically amazed to learn that their child will be able to talk
back and forth with you just as if they are on a telephone, but
without the telephone of course. Many parents expect that their
child will be communicating via typing, as they might have seen
their child instant messaging (IMing) their friends.

3. If for some reason you are unable to show the parent the
demo online, take some time to discuss how the whiteboard works.
Help them to visualize the various features such as the
"freehand" writing tool, the ability to draw shapes, even the
ability to change the size and color of what they are drawing or
writing. Explain to the parents that you or their child will be
able to cut and paste text from a school document such as an
essay, a homework worksheet, a test, or even from another
website right onto the whiteboard so you can both look at the
same thing simultaneously. Give them an example of how you and
their child will use the whiteboard at the same time. I like to
use a math problem as an example and help parents to imagine
their child working out the solution to a math problem on the
whiteboard as I watch and give them instant feedback about what
they are writing as they are writing.

4. Another misconception that parents hold is that they believe
that their child will "share" you with other children. They are
very pleased to hear that you will be working one-on-one with
their child for a full hour at a time.

5. Finally, make parents aware of the scheduling process. Many
parents believe they are locked into running a session with you
at the same time and day each week. Explain that your schedule
will be posted and they are free to select whatever sessions
works best for them on a weekly basis. The fact that the
schedule can change when necessary and that a child can schedule
a session whenever they are most needed is very appealing to a
parent.

Always keep in mind that the parents may not be familiar with
the technology that you hope to use with their child and if you
would like to build a successful business you need to spend
quality time helping potential clients understand what you plan
to do and how you plan to do it.

About The Author: Free Report! Start your own online tutoring
business & earn $25 -$75/hour from home. Get your free report at
http://TutorFi.com's Free Report

3 Parenting Tips To Calm Your Afterwork Routine

Is the after-school, after-work routine creating a crazy,
chaotic homelife for your family? Will all the end-of-the-day
pressures that descend on the typical family these days, it's no
wonder parents feel frazzled and out-of-control.

I've been parenting for over 2 decades and have 4 busy
children. Here are my top 3 parenting tips for putting the calm
back into your family's evening routine.

1. Plan it out.

Sometimes chaos comes from everyone needing to unwind at once.
Of course, your kids have very little maturity to deal with the
fatigue and over-stimulation that comes with a typical day. As
the parent, you have to be willing to delay your own need for
calm and get the rest of the troops in line first. When your
family has a sense of order and control, you'll feel much
calmer, too.

Start with planning out what needs to happen in your evening.
Baths, homework, dinner, sports activities all need to be
written down. If you attempt to do laundry or cleaning in the
evening, write that down, too.

Next write down the amount of time each of those items takes to
do (be honest and reasonable). Now add up the times and compare
the total to what time you actually have between the hours of
after-work and bedtime.

If you're like many families, something's gotta give! This
simple exercise will help you see why you are frustrated day in
and day out. This is where the rubber meets the road; to have a
calmer household you'll need to make the activities you desire
fit into your schedule. This often means cutting something out!

Trust me, you'll never miss whatever you let go of. Take back
the time to actually hug and communicate with your children by
giving up the activities that don't directly contribute to
family growth. For example, a lot of great conversations can be
had between parents and children while cleaning a bathroom. And
let's face it, cleaning bathrooms has to happen!

But usually very little communication can happen between you
and your child while they're on the sports field. Don't get me
wrong, I've done plenty of sports over the years and know how
great they can be for teaching all types of values. But if your
family is reeling in chaos each evening, you're looking for
soothing parenting tips, not high-achievement ideas.

2. Streamline and get organized.

Everyday activities like meal-planning can either produce joy
or chaos in a family's day. Do you have to spend time each
evening deciding what's for dinner, scrounging for ingredients
and feeling resentful you have to give up so much time to
something you don't want to do?

Or do you just give in most evenings and either eat out or use
take-out food? This is fine if it's in your budget, but if it's
not, you are simply increasing your stress load which will
inevitably spill over into your family time.

There are many effective menu-planning tools available today
that can cut your time in the kitchen. Honestly, a smart
parenting tip is to help you see that involving your kids in the
evening meal routine is one of the easiest ways to add calm to a
family.

Depending upon their ages, children can help

-- plan the meals.

-- shop for the meals, understanding both budgetary and
nutritional concerns.

-- set the table and help with the clean-up.

-- cook the meals with supervision.

The same goes for laundry and cleaning duties, too. If one
evening is laundry and cleaning night, then everyone pitches in
and that's the night for pizza. You'll feel less scattered when
the whole family is pulling together.

Of course, these tasks will all go much faster once everyone is
trained, practiced and comes to expect that family involvement
is a part of the evening agenda.

3. Establish routines.

I'm sure you've heard parenting tips like this one before and
for good reason. Unfinished homework, lost supplies, missing
articles of clothing, and forgotten lunches just add to the
chaos level in any home. So abolish them! Establish a place for
each family member's daily stuff (just a basket or bin will do
nicely) and remind daily to use them until habits are
established.

Hey, you're going to have to be serious about this one, Mom or
Dad. My kids know I would even call them home from their
friends' houses simply to have them pick something up they
neglected to put away in the right place before they went off to
have fun.

Over the top? Not when you remember your job as a parent is to
teach the types of habits that will produce appropriate adult
behavior someday. Trust me, you'll only have to do these kinds
of 'reminders' a handful of times. Your kids are very bright.
They'll get the message extremely quickly.

Make a game with your kids about developing routines.

-- Who can figure out the smartest way to put together a
lunchbox station in the kitchen?

-- Who sets down to do their homework first, with no
complaining?

-- Set a timer and see who can get their stuff ready for the
next day the fastest.

-- Give little prizes for shaving off time in doing everyday
duties.

Set the rule that everyone in the household does work before
play. You'll be amazed at the change in your home's stress
levels. One step at a time.

Parenting tips come and go, but the basics in what a family
needs don't change. If you're looking to calm down the evenings
in your home, take a few minutes to plan out what's important to
you, streamline your processes, and establish routines that save
time and sanity.

And your reward? How about a quiet time before bed?

About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedgold.com. Visit her website and pick up more
parenting tips at
http://www.paintedgold.com/Kids/parenting-tip.html .