A Concerned Parent's Guide to Moving Your Family Overseas

There are lots of issues to be considered when deciding to
move your family overseas. It's not as simple as discussing
it with your spouse, packing up and getting on a plane!
Moving to a new country is both exciting and challenging,
and should not be undertaken lightly.

Making the Decision

Consider the impact of such a move on each member of your
family. This move will affect all of their lives. Parents
should review the benefits and liabilities of such a move
before presenting it to the children. Make sure that moving
your family overseas is better for you in the long run, not
only for the short term. Think about whether the sacrifices
you'll need to make will be worth it. We want to prevent
the children from growing up resenting their parents'
decision to move during what they feel is an important part
of their lives.

Opening Discussion

If you're set on moving your family overseas, the next
issue to tackle is how to break the news to the children.
Parents often tend to disregard the opinions and feelings
of their children in making decisions that will affect the
whole family. Some like to simply announce: "Kids, we are
moving overseas." Blunt and to the point, end of
discussion. This isn't the best way as it makes clear to
your children that they don't have any say as to what
happens with their lives.

Even if the decision to move has been made, you still need
to listen to what your kids have to say about it, to show
them that you care about their feelings. Try saying the
following instead: "Kids, we've been presented with a
wonderful opportunity and in order to take advantage of it,
we're going to have to move overseas. What do you think
about that?"

Overcoming Fears

Parents know that most children will react negatively to
the question. After all, it's the unknown and that's scary.
This is natural. Encourage your children to ask questions
and bring up issues they're worried about. By having an
open discussion, you can assuage their fears. You need to
assure them that despite their concerns, everything will be
okay. By listening to what they think and feel, you will
get an understanding of their issues. You can answer all
questions and begin to find solutions to any foreseeable
problems.

Planning the Move

After you've broken the news to the family, the time has
come to make preparations. Good planning will help you make
the transition much smoother for your family. Try to find
people who can help you understand what's involved in the
move. Find and hire services that can assist you with the
intricate details of moving your family overseas.

You need to learn as much about the country you're going to
as possible. If you're moving your family to a location
where a different language is spoken, think about learning
the language together. Make it a fun family activity and
try to use it daily when you're all together. Conversing at
the dinner table only in the new language can lead to lots
of laughs.

Culture shock is also a potential problem when moving
overseas. Learning about the customs and culture ahead of
time will help you and the children feel more comfortable.
It will also make everyone more excited to see these new
customs in action. There will also be differences in small,
previously disregarded things like measurements and
electricity features. If your new country uses different
standards of measurement and different voltages of
electricity, you'll need to learn about these things and
prepare for it ahead of time.

Preparing for the Move

Good preparation means taking care of all the little
details concerning moving your family overseas. Where will
you stay? Where will the children continue their education?
Which personal items will you take with you and which will
be left behind? What clothing do you need in this new
climate? These are all questions that need to be answered.
Think about the legalities involved in moving your family
overseas, including passports and other necessary papers.
Find out about banking and money exchange. It's important
to understand the value of the new currency. Kids will love
to learn all about the new coins and paper money that
doesn't look real!

Remember, the way of life you have known so far is not the
only way of life. People in other countries have their
habits and oddities. Respect the rights of others and
you'll be just fine. Make sure to teach this lesson to your
family too.

By following these suggestions, your family can
successfully navigate the sometimes daunting, always
exciting, move to another country. With the right attitude
and plenty of research and preparation, you can tackle the
job with ease.

About the Author:

Karen Fusco is the co-author of "Busy Moms: The Heart and
Soul of a Home", http://www.BusyMomBook.com , an ebook
filled with time-saving and stress-reducing tips and ideas
to help build a stronger home, a stronger family and a
stronger you. Karen can be reached at karen@busymombook.com.

Are You Using The First 5 Effective Parenting Tips?

You want your kids to have the best and you've only got one
chance to create the kind of adult you want them to be:
thoughtful, enthusiastic, productive, loving and
hardworking. These tips complete last month's list of
effective parenting tips to help you with this challenging
task.

6. Be What You Want Them To Be. Even if you've never
taken a class in psychology, just about everyone knows that
children learn by modeling and the people they model most
often are their parents. Everyone says "I want my children
to be happy." Well, are you happy? Do you have honor and
integrity? Do you treat people the way you want to be
treated? Are you overly materialistic? Are you moody? This
article is not designed to lay any guilt on you because it
won't make you a better parent. If there are things you
want to change about yourself, work on it now. Try to be
the best human you can be. There's a good chance your
children will model your good qualities.

7. Exercise Love not Fear. Don't belittle anyone -
certainly not your children. Don't be sarcastic. Drop all
the negative stuff. Most of us make our decisions based on
one or two emotions: fear or love and for most people,
they're driven by fear more often than they are by love.
If you want healthy children, teach them to act based on
love not fear. In other words, teach them to be in the
minority. I can tell you lots of things not to do: don't be
negative, don't be sarcastic, etc., but what we're really
talking about is don't cause hurt. Don't cause pain. Don't
cause fear. Instead, create love. Build self-confidence.
Let your children know they are safe and protected.

8. Set Rules and Boundaries. It's a law of nature that
every action has a consequent reaction. Every action of
your children has a consequence. Whatever your rules are,
make sure your children understand them and understand the
consequences of breaking them. Breaking those rules is
bound to happen at some point or another, so be sure you
follow through with the consequences - not out of anger or
emotion, but just because those are the consequences.
Discuss with your child what the consequences could be.
Let your child help to establish his own consequences. It
makes it a lot easier for you to enforce if he's
participated in their creation.

9. Be Your Children's Hero. Keep promises. Say what you
mean and mean what you say. If you break your promise,
you're a liar. Let your children inspire you to be the best
you can be. Children will do as you do. I wanted to be my
kid's hero - a role model, a guide, the kind of man they
would one day look for in a husband, the kind of man they
would try to create if they had sons. I found my meaning in
life: I would be great dad. What could be more important
than that? What about you? Will you ever do anything that
is more important than raising your children?

10. Don't Resist Change. Have courage. You've got no
choice. People generally don't like change. We know that
change is inevitable and yet we resist it because we
believe it will be painful. But resisting it is, in itself,
painful. So we resist the unknown because it might be
painful. It all boils down to the fact that we're afraid of
the unknown. Most of our actions are based on fear or love.
Divorce was certainly a huge change and it caused all kinds
of fear. Have faith. Take courageous risks. Create a
stable environment. Don't make comparisons. Look back from
the finish line to move forward. Go out there and really
live. You were meant to do this!

Effective parenting isn't accomplished instantaneously. It
will take practice for you to get all of these into your
method of operating. Practice still makes perfect, even
for you. We'd like to recommend that you re-read this
article and keep it at the ready so the next time your
children require your practical parenting expertise, you'll
know right where to go for it. These ten effective
parenting tips can become your parenting guide to positive
discipline so that your children turn out to be successful
adults.

About the Author:

Len Stauffenger's parents taught him life's simple wisdom.
As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom
with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced
Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a
Success Coach and an Attorney.
http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com