chance to create the kind of adult you want them to be:
thoughtful, enthusiastic, productive, loving and
hardworking. These tips complete last month's list of
effective parenting tips to help you with this challenging
task.
6. Be What You Want Them To Be. Even if you've never
taken a class in psychology, just about everyone knows that
children learn by modeling and the people they model most
often are their parents. Everyone says "I want my children
to be happy." Well, are you happy? Do you have honor and
integrity? Do you treat people the way you want to be
treated? Are you overly materialistic? Are you moody? This
article is not designed to lay any guilt on you because it
won't make you a better parent. If there are things you
want to change about yourself, work on it now. Try to be
the best human you can be. There's a good chance your
children will model your good qualities.
7. Exercise Love not Fear. Don't belittle anyone -
certainly not your children. Don't be sarcastic. Drop all
the negative stuff. Most of us make our decisions based on
one or two emotions: fear or love and for most people,
they're driven by fear more often than they are by love.
If you want healthy children, teach them to act based on
love not fear. In other words, teach them to be in the
minority. I can tell you lots of things not to do: don't be
negative, don't be sarcastic, etc., but what we're really
talking about is don't cause hurt. Don't cause pain. Don't
cause fear. Instead, create love. Build self-confidence.
Let your children know they are safe and protected.
8. Set Rules and Boundaries. It's a law of nature that
every action has a consequent reaction. Every action of
your children has a consequence. Whatever your rules are,
make sure your children understand them and understand the
consequences of breaking them. Breaking those rules is
bound to happen at some point or another, so be sure you
follow through with the consequences - not out of anger or
emotion, but just because those are the consequences.
Discuss with your child what the consequences could be.
Let your child help to establish his own consequences. It
makes it a lot easier for you to enforce if he's
participated in their creation.
9. Be Your Children's Hero. Keep promises. Say what you
mean and mean what you say. If you break your promise,
you're a liar. Let your children inspire you to be the best
you can be. Children will do as you do. I wanted to be my
kid's hero - a role model, a guide, the kind of man they
would one day look for in a husband, the kind of man they
would try to create if they had sons. I found my meaning in
life: I would be great dad. What could be more important
than that? What about you? Will you ever do anything that
is more important than raising your children?
10. Don't Resist Change. Have courage. You've got no
choice. People generally don't like change. We know that
change is inevitable and yet we resist it because we
believe it will be painful. But resisting it is, in itself,
painful. So we resist the unknown because it might be
painful. It all boils down to the fact that we're afraid of
the unknown. Most of our actions are based on fear or love.
Divorce was certainly a huge change and it caused all kinds
of fear. Have faith. Take courageous risks. Create a
stable environment. Don't make comparisons. Look back from
the finish line to move forward. Go out there and really
live. You were meant to do this!
Effective parenting isn't accomplished instantaneously. It
will take practice for you to get all of these into your
method of operating. Practice still makes perfect, even
for you. We'd like to recommend that you re-read this
article and keep it at the ready so the next time your
children require your practical parenting expertise, you'll
know right where to go for it. These ten effective
parenting tips can become your parenting guide to positive
discipline so that your children turn out to be successful
adults.
About the Author:
Len Stauffenger'
As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom
with his girls. "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced
Parents," his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a
Success Coach and an Attorney.
http://www.wisdomfo
