chaotic homelife for your family? Will all the end-of-the-day
pressures that descend on the typical family these days, it's no
wonder parents feel frazzled and out-of-control.
I've been parenting for over 2 decades and have 4 busy
children. Here are my top 3 parenting tips for putting the calm
back into your family's evening routine.
1. Plan it out.
Sometimes chaos comes from everyone needing to unwind at once.
Of course, your kids have very little maturity to deal with the
fatigue and over-stimulation that comes with a typical day. As
the parent, you have to be willing to delay your own need for
calm and get the rest of the troops in line first. When your
family has a sense of order and control, you'll feel much
calmer, too.
Start with planning out what needs to happen in your evening.
Baths, homework, dinner, sports activities all need to be
written down. If you attempt to do laundry or cleaning in the
evening, write that down, too.
Next write down the amount of time each of those items takes to
do (be honest and reasonable). Now add up the times and compare
the total to what time you actually have between the hours of
after-work and bedtime.
If you're like many families, something's gotta give! This
simple exercise will help you see why you are frustrated day in
and day out. This is where the rubber meets the road; to have a
calmer household you'll need to make the activities you desire
fit into your schedule. This often means cutting something out!
Trust me, you'll never miss whatever you let go of. Take back
the time to actually hug and communicate with your children by
giving up the activities that don't directly contribute to
family growth. For example, a lot of great conversations can be
had between parents and children while cleaning a bathroom. And
let's face it, cleaning bathrooms has to happen!
But usually very little communication can happen between you
and your child while they're on the sports field. Don't get me
wrong, I've done plenty of sports over the years and know how
great they can be for teaching all types of values. But if your
family is reeling in chaos each evening, you're looking for
soothing parenting tips, not high-achievement ideas.
2. Streamline and get organized.
Everyday activities like meal-planning can either produce joy
or chaos in a family's day. Do you have to spend time each
evening deciding what's for dinner, scrounging for ingredients
and feeling resentful you have to give up so much time to
something you don't want to do?
Or do you just give in most evenings and either eat out or use
take-out food? This is fine if it's in your budget, but if it's
not, you are simply increasing your stress load which will
inevitably spill over into your family time.
There are many effective menu-planning tools available today
that can cut your time in the kitchen. Honestly, a smart
parenting tip is to help you see that involving your kids in the
evening meal routine is one of the easiest ways to add calm to a
family.
Depending upon their ages, children can help
-- plan the meals.
-- shop for the meals, understanding both budgetary and
nutritional concerns.
-- set the table and help with the clean-up.
-- cook the meals with supervision.
The same goes for laundry and cleaning duties, too. If one
evening is laundry and cleaning night, then everyone pitches in
and that's the night for pizza. You'll feel less scattered when
the whole family is pulling together.
Of course, these tasks will all go much faster once everyone is
trained, practiced and comes to expect that family involvement
is a part of the evening agenda.
3. Establish routines.
I'm sure you've heard parenting tips like this one before and
for good reason. Unfinished homework, lost supplies, missing
articles of clothing, and forgotten lunches just add to the
chaos level in any home. So abolish them! Establish a place for
each family member's daily stuff (just a basket or bin will do
nicely) and remind daily to use them until habits are
established.
Hey, you're going to have to be serious about this one, Mom or
Dad. My kids know I would even call them home from their
friends' houses simply to have them pick something up they
neglected to put away in the right place before they went off to
have fun.
Over the top? Not when you remember your job as a parent is to
teach the types of habits that will produce appropriate adult
behavior someday. Trust me, you'll only have to do these kinds
of 'reminders' a handful of times. Your kids are very bright.
They'll get the message extremely quickly.
Make a game with your kids about developing routines.
-- Who can figure out the smartest way to put together a
lunchbox station in the kitchen?
-- Who sets down to do their homework first, with no
complaining?
-- Set a timer and see who can get their stuff ready for the
next day the fastest.
-- Give little prizes for shaving off time in doing everyday
duties.
Set the rule that everyone in the household does work before
play. You'll be amazed at the change in your home's stress
levels. One step at a time.
Parenting tips come and go, but the basics in what a family
needs don't change. If you're looking to calm down the evenings
in your home, take a few minutes to plan out what's important to
you, streamline your processes, and establish routines that save
time and sanity.
And your reward? How about a quiet time before bed?
About The Author: Colleen Langenfeld has been parenting for
over 26 years and helps other moms enjoy mothering more at
http://www.paintedg
parenting tips at
http://www.paintedg
